Grey's Commitment Issue

Did anybody see the movie about a guy who ages backwards? It's quite an interesting movie. The story is intriguing and definitely worth your time. It doesn't end very happily. If anybody is planning on watching it remember, although it isn't happy it's well worth the time investment. It isn't exactly depressing either. A very well rounded story told on film. Check it out.

There was something about the movie that got me thinking about my own women situation. The issue involves... mainly commitment. Let me back track a little.

I'm not sure if it's true and maybe somebody from the world of the Multi-web can give some light to it. Do women settle? I mean, it seems that women are always speaking of their dreamy unfulfilled love with a guy. This usually takes place some time in their late teens or early twenties. Women talk of this dreamy unfulfilled love sometime after they are involved with somebody else. I'd say some women would trade their present life situations for a chance to relive their dreamy past. Some women have actually ventured to fulfill their dreamy love and have failed terribly. Later in life the dream of this unfulfilled love on their death beds.

The women that have crossed paths with me have long passed that dreamy love stage in their lives.

"There's no way that this is love." Grey says.

Now of course... this is all beside the point. The truth of Grey's matter is that he's got issues. The issue boils down to commitment.

It isn't quite clear to me if it's fear that prevents me from falling in love or my lack of interest to begin with. My lack of interest in love? No, this couldn't be it. Love and it's many aspects awakens my curiosity.

There is the other idea that hovers over my issue. The amount of people there are on this Earth. There are billions of people. As a pragmatist following the line of my favorite philosopher... Shouldn't all the women have their say and is that even possible? Of course not. I'd be dead and why would they want to take the time to speak their opinion to me? They wouldn't. Not every woman would have their say. Why? Not until the end of the world and no human is procreated again would their be an end of a woman's opinion.

Who wants to make a mistake? Not me. I don't want to marry the wrong person.

I'm pulled between the two spectrum's. Maybe there is no spectrum. It boils down to me being afraid.

Now... back to that dreamy unfulfilled love. Woman aren't the only one's with dreamy unfulfilled love. Is that the other side of the spectrum that divides this heart.

The variable amount of women sit on one side of the spectrum. The possibility of making a mistake and giving up on my dreamy love from the past.

My issue with commitment... fear. No more denying it.

Psychoanalysis: INFP

On a recent internet surfing expedition I came across a blog about introverts. I can't remember the exact web address. Sorry, to all those avid web surfers that like to double check information. The blog was about the 'Bill of Rights' for introverts. Linked to the site was a psychological [Myer Briggs] test. The test was developed on the idea's of Carl Jung, the psychologist that started this interesting field of social science.

During my time in university I breifly considered Psychology as a major. Part of the prerequisites for graduation was a course in statistics. The problem begins here. I have no math skills. Statistics isn't really math. Sure, statistics isn't math but i have problems seeing numbers correctly. A dislexia for numbers, not a serious one that required special tutors. Enough of a dislexia to detour me from Psychology.

I gave up my dreams for psychology and instead persued the next best thing and the root of all the sciences.

In Philosophy there were no math courses required to graduate from university. There is one course called Philosophical Logic which isn't math the way we conceptualize it. In Philosophy we encountered many new concepts that were very interconnected with Psychology, Sociology, Religion and Physics... etc. The point being that it was the better alternative to Psychology.

The early courses in Intro to Psychology and Intro to Personality gave me opportunities to psychoanalyse myself through a bombardment of psychological tests adminstered through my professors. I even wrote a paper using Carl Rogers model for self assessment. Carl Rogers Model being a Person Centered Therapy.

It's almost been ten years since that ground breaking paper and the results of the Myer Briggs test is the same. INFP. A personality type that is Introverted, Intuitive, with a reliance and sensitivity to feelings and perceptive.

In my studies of Philosophy I became heavily influenced with the idea that personalities are not static but fluid and subject to change that can't necessarily be measured with a psychological test. The results of one test proves me wrong in some ways. The results showing that I tend to react and act in certain circumstances and situations in similiar ways.