Can I ramble on for a minute... with the exception of making sense
till the publish post button is pushed, the words come out to say:
Here am... I
expressing thoughts to extinguish the sighs.
Sweep of my mental arms around wandering
thoughts that venture to collide like random
atoms. Nuclear. Membranes destroyed with
free radicals on the loose. Brain waves pulsating
the thoughts that could be the source of something
undiscovered, un-relocatable.
Unfathomable, the idea that pristine communication
is somewhere lost in the attempt. The construction
made in any other is a garnished meaning, all to
make less any thought lost in translation. The
situation is repetitious. Seriously, if it doesn't
infuriate it will definitely make a curator
of thoughts...
Welcome to the hall of random thoughts gathered
in the shelves of Yerg...
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Random 25
A Facebook Trend. Decided to post it here on grey image.
1. McDonald's in Korea has delivery. It's not particularly good but the closest thing I can get to a good burger at home.
2. Driven across the continental United States. The trip followed this route...
Chicago - Boone N.C.
Boone N.C. - Ft. Worth Texas
Ft. Worth Texas - San Antonio TX
San Antonio - Dallas TX
Dallas TX - LA California.
LA California - Tacoma Washington
3. Lost my sanity before.
4. Enjoy reading philosophy books.
5. Not good at keeping in touch with my family even though they are missed so much.
6. Realize that people know more random things about me than I know about myself.
7. Favorite number: 18
8. Favorite color: Grey
9. Have issues with commitment, mostly relational, involving the opposite gender.
10. Am working on a Novella on and off.
11. Don't particularly like exclusive language that may marginalize anybody I know.
12. Think: religion can be the most damaging thing to society.
13. Belief: religion has done more good for more people than it has done bad.
14. Believe in the arguments for an Intelligent Designer.
15. The intelligent designer to me is the Ultimate Designer.
16. The Ultimate Designer is the name I call God.
17. Was in a lower grade than my younger sister in High school. Attendance issues.
18. Was involved with an Asian street gang in my youth/teens.
19. Attended Trinity International University in Northern Chicago.
20. Affirmation is the basis for social growth.
21. I have hope for society and the human population as a whole.
22. Love Guy Richie films.
23. Hardly ever get bored.
24. Looking forward to purchasing an Apple Notebook/Laptop this year.
25. I have a blog and am a consistent blogger.
1. McDonald's in Korea has delivery. It's not particularly good but the closest thing I can get to a good burger at home.
2. Driven across the continental United States. The trip followed this route...
Chicago - Boone N.C.
Boone N.C. - Ft. Worth Texas
Ft. Worth Texas - San Antonio TX
San Antonio - Dallas TX
Dallas TX - LA California.
LA California - Tacoma Washington
3. Lost my sanity before.
4. Enjoy reading philosophy books.
5. Not good at keeping in touch with my family even though they are missed so much.
6. Realize that people know more random things about me than I know about myself.
7. Favorite number: 18
8. Favorite color: Grey
9. Have issues with commitment, mostly relational, involving the opposite gender.
10. Am working on a Novella on and off.
11. Don't particularly like exclusive language that may marginalize anybody I know.
12. Think: religion can be the most damaging thing to society.
13. Belief: religion has done more good for more people than it has done bad.
14. Believe in the arguments for an Intelligent Designer.
15. The intelligent designer to me is the Ultimate Designer.
16. The Ultimate Designer is the name I call God.
17. Was in a lower grade than my younger sister in High school. Attendance issues.
18. Was involved with an Asian street gang in my youth/teens.
19. Attended Trinity International University in Northern Chicago.
20. Affirmation is the basis for social growth.
21. I have hope for society and the human population as a whole.
22. Love Guy Richie films.
23. Hardly ever get bored.
24. Looking forward to purchasing an Apple Notebook/Laptop this year.
25. I have a blog and am a consistent blogger.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
The Meaning of Groundhogs Day
The year was 2003, February 1st. It was the last time that Grey talked to her before engaging her 15 months later with a journal of writings. It wasn't by choice that their relationship ended abruptly eventually fading into a distant memory. The first three years after that day were the darkest years of his life. There were a million questions about everything and there were no answers that satisfied him. The world appeared to be conspiring to bring failure to his life.
K.C. had her reasons for disengaging in social interactions with Grey. The insidious part of their social separation is that Grey didn't have a clue to the question of why. There were no explanations and the relationship ended.
The three Groundhogs Day that followed were a reminder of a previous life without closure. A song of sorrowful blues rang continually in the heart of Grey. The somber life that unfolded was impossible to hide with illusions of smiles. Any happiness Grey sought out to fill the hole left by K.C. was an attempt to cure a critical condition with a band-aid.
Depression is a funny thing. It isn't just chemical not that body chemistry doesn't have a significant part in depression. The thing that we fail to take into consideration is that it isn't just any of one thing or explanation. It isn't just cognitive thought. It isn't just pre-social conditions. It isn't just chemistry. It isn't just lifestyle. It isn't just genetic disposition. The point being that all the mentioned above are part of the reasons for Grey's demise.
K.C. is not to blame. K.C. was the pinpoint expression of a more serious condition that surrounded Grey's world. The focus point of a cosmos gone haywire gravitating to a milieu by the name of K.C.
It has been six years since that cold day in February. It is significant to point out that in no way would Grey trade any of those dark days through the valley of demise. The sun shines again pouring down kisses of exquisite rays of ecstasy for life. It's in death that we realize the power of life. Today, Grey is more alive than he's ever been since the valley of demise.
The biggest change propelling Grey into a life fully owned with no remorse is the environment change. Grey literally had to transplant himself from his comfortable social environment and begin again. This took the form or an actual exodus from the land of America to the a small country in Asia. The soul of Asia, Korea.
K.C. had her reasons for disengaging in social interactions with Grey. The insidious part of their social separation is that Grey didn't have a clue to the question of why. There were no explanations and the relationship ended.
The three Groundhogs Day that followed were a reminder of a previous life without closure. A song of sorrowful blues rang continually in the heart of Grey. The somber life that unfolded was impossible to hide with illusions of smiles. Any happiness Grey sought out to fill the hole left by K.C. was an attempt to cure a critical condition with a band-aid.
Depression is a funny thing. It isn't just chemical not that body chemistry doesn't have a significant part in depression. The thing that we fail to take into consideration is that it isn't just any of one thing or explanation. It isn't just cognitive thought. It isn't just pre-social conditions. It isn't just chemistry. It isn't just lifestyle. It isn't just genetic disposition. The point being that all the mentioned above are part of the reasons for Grey's demise.
K.C. is not to blame. K.C. was the pinpoint expression of a more serious condition that surrounded Grey's world. The focus point of a cosmos gone haywire gravitating to a milieu by the name of K.C.
It has been six years since that cold day in February. It is significant to point out that in no way would Grey trade any of those dark days through the valley of demise. The sun shines again pouring down kisses of exquisite rays of ecstasy for life. It's in death that we realize the power of life. Today, Grey is more alive than he's ever been since the valley of demise.
The biggest change propelling Grey into a life fully owned with no remorse is the environment change. Grey literally had to transplant himself from his comfortable social environment and begin again. This took the form or an actual exodus from the land of America to the a small country in Asia. The soul of Asia, Korea.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Grey's Commitment Issue
Did anybody see the movie about a guy who ages backwards? It's quite an interesting movie. The story is intriguing and definitely worth your time. It doesn't end very happily. If anybody is planning on watching it remember, although it isn't happy it's well worth the time investment. It isn't exactly depressing either. A very well rounded story told on film. Check it out.
There was something about the movie that got me thinking about my own women situation. The issue involves... mainly commitment. Let me back track a little.
I'm not sure if it's true and maybe somebody from the world of the Multi-web can give some light to it. Do women settle? I mean, it seems that women are always speaking of their dreamy unfulfilled love with a guy. This usually takes place some time in their late teens or early twenties. Women talk of this dreamy unfulfilled love sometime after they are involved with somebody else. I'd say some women would trade their present life situations for a chance to relive their dreamy past. Some women have actually ventured to fulfill their dreamy love and have failed terribly. Later in life the dream of this unfulfilled love on their death beds.
The women that have crossed paths with me have long passed that dreamy love stage in their lives.
"There's no way that this is love." Grey says.
Now of course... this is all beside the point. The truth of Grey's matter is that he's got issues. The issue boils down to commitment.
It isn't quite clear to me if it's fear that prevents me from falling in love or my lack of interest to begin with. My lack of interest in love? No, this couldn't be it. Love and it's many aspects awakens my curiosity.
There is the other idea that hovers over my issue. The amount of people there are on this Earth. There are billions of people. As a pragmatist following the line of my favorite philosopher... Shouldn't all the women have their say and is that even possible? Of course not. I'd be dead and why would they want to take the time to speak their opinion to me? They wouldn't. Not every woman would have their say. Why? Not until the end of the world and no human is procreated again would their be an end of a woman's opinion.
Who wants to make a mistake? Not me. I don't want to marry the wrong person.
I'm pulled between the two spectrum's. Maybe there is no spectrum. It boils down to me being afraid.
Now... back to that dreamy unfulfilled love. Woman aren't the only one's with dreamy unfulfilled love. Is that the other side of the spectrum that divides this heart.
The variable amount of women sit on one side of the spectrum. The possibility of making a mistake and giving up on my dreamy love from the past.
My issue with commitment... fear. No more denying it.
There was something about the movie that got me thinking about my own women situation. The issue involves... mainly commitment. Let me back track a little.
I'm not sure if it's true and maybe somebody from the world of the Multi-web can give some light to it. Do women settle? I mean, it seems that women are always speaking of their dreamy unfulfilled love with a guy. This usually takes place some time in their late teens or early twenties. Women talk of this dreamy unfulfilled love sometime after they are involved with somebody else. I'd say some women would trade their present life situations for a chance to relive their dreamy past. Some women have actually ventured to fulfill their dreamy love and have failed terribly. Later in life the dream of this unfulfilled love on their death beds.
The women that have crossed paths with me have long passed that dreamy love stage in their lives.
"There's no way that this is love." Grey says.
Now of course... this is all beside the point. The truth of Grey's matter is that he's got issues. The issue boils down to commitment.
It isn't quite clear to me if it's fear that prevents me from falling in love or my lack of interest to begin with. My lack of interest in love? No, this couldn't be it. Love and it's many aspects awakens my curiosity.
There is the other idea that hovers over my issue. The amount of people there are on this Earth. There are billions of people. As a pragmatist following the line of my favorite philosopher... Shouldn't all the women have their say and is that even possible? Of course not. I'd be dead and why would they want to take the time to speak their opinion to me? They wouldn't. Not every woman would have their say. Why? Not until the end of the world and no human is procreated again would their be an end of a woman's opinion.
Who wants to make a mistake? Not me. I don't want to marry the wrong person.
I'm pulled between the two spectrum's. Maybe there is no spectrum. It boils down to me being afraid.
Now... back to that dreamy unfulfilled love. Woman aren't the only one's with dreamy unfulfilled love. Is that the other side of the spectrum that divides this heart.
The variable amount of women sit on one side of the spectrum. The possibility of making a mistake and giving up on my dreamy love from the past.
My issue with commitment... fear. No more denying it.
Monday, January 5, 2009
An end to binge drinking... for a while.
How could I allow my vacation to slip away... one drink after another? On one day it seems that my vacation was beginning. A few drinks later it was the day before my vacation ended. In between the drinks were a few blank memories and hours of laying in bed trying to recover. There were many things that could have been accomplished. This marks the end to binge drinking... at least for awhile. Grey's liver needs recuperation. Grey's kidneys need proper liquids to filter and expunge. Grey's body needs proper nutrition to get his mind functioning as a healthy young male brain should be functioning.
Now drinking isn't down the drain forever all together. There are times of lapsing into the dark tunnel of drunkenness. A lapse into it can be revelatory. Now it's time to allow the creative spirit to unleash itself. It is time to focus the energy towards creativity, life & the pursuit of happiness?
All of Grey's anatomy has the right to equal benefits of health. We the anatomy of Grey's Republic here forth declare this day...
It hasn't fully sunk in that the year has progressed and it is now the year Two Thousand and Nine. Can you believe it folks? Where has the time gone?
During my youth I remember thinking that the year 2000 had so much to offer humanity. The imagination ventured to see the moon colonized. Humanity would be driving floating cars [like the ones from back to the future]. Seriously, back in the 1980's. Didn't you imagine a world of the future by the year 2010... at the least 2020? Now that seems like 360 days away. A little more than 51 weeks left till Michael J. Fox shows up with his Dalorian... back from where ever the fuck this time. It's amazing... time and aging. It boggles me to fathom.
The truth is, at the least from my subjective perspective... technology has advanced more in the last 30 years than it has in any given 300 years combined [that was a long sentence]. It's hard to imagine the world before computers, Internet, cell phones and big screen theaters.
Imagine with me of how information traveled across the populace just 200 years ago. Imagine how rumors of wars were heard months if not years later.
Today, information is instant. We hear of terrorism in Mumbai hours after it occurred. We watch buildings crumble as it happens and wonder in fear if we are at war.
All this reflecting leaves me wondering. What does the next 10 years hold for us/humanity?
Cheers to you all. I hope this year you find much to appreciate and embrace with full curiosity.
Now drinking isn't down the drain forever all together. There are times of lapsing into the dark tunnel of drunkenness. A lapse into it can be revelatory. Now it's time to allow the creative spirit to unleash itself. It is time to focus the energy towards creativity, life & the pursuit of happiness?
All of Grey's anatomy has the right to equal benefits of health. We the anatomy of Grey's Republic here forth declare this day...
It hasn't fully sunk in that the year has progressed and it is now the year Two Thousand and Nine. Can you believe it folks? Where has the time gone?
During my youth I remember thinking that the year 2000 had so much to offer humanity. The imagination ventured to see the moon colonized. Humanity would be driving floating cars [like the ones from back to the future]. Seriously, back in the 1980's. Didn't you imagine a world of the future by the year 2010... at the least 2020? Now that seems like 360 days away. A little more than 51 weeks left till Michael J. Fox shows up with his Dalorian... back from where ever the fuck this time. It's amazing... time and aging. It boggles me to fathom.
The truth is, at the least from my subjective perspective... technology has advanced more in the last 30 years than it has in any given 300 years combined [that was a long sentence]. It's hard to imagine the world before computers, Internet, cell phones and big screen theaters.
Imagine with me of how information traveled across the populace just 200 years ago. Imagine how rumors of wars were heard months if not years later.
Today, information is instant. We hear of terrorism in Mumbai hours after it occurred. We watch buildings crumble as it happens and wonder in fear if we are at war.
All this reflecting leaves me wondering. What does the next 10 years hold for us/humanity?
Cheers to you all. I hope this year you find much to appreciate and embrace with full curiosity.
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